The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
