Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
