im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
