I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize