It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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