I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
