So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
