is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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