He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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