dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
