I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
