Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Come on in and take your pants off
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