Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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