so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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