it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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