I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
