There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
