I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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