I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
