i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
