Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
