In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
