I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
