Your face is a jimmy john
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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