His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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