Me too!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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