if you like me you must not know who I am
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
