420 ftw
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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