Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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