Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
