I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
