What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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