I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
