i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
