lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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