sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
