Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
