Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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