I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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