You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
