I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
