their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
