so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
