On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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