he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
