i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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