i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
