I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
