I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
is wine microwaveable?
worst night to have a conscience
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
