i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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