I will die if light touches me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
