I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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