I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
