Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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