i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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