Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
