meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
