So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
