He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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