And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
