i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
