been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
