so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she told me i tasted like america
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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