She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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