and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
