He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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