woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
