seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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